miserable

why do i always make myself to have such a miserable life?! :( really got no time to breath at all. or it's just me? maybe i overestimate my capability. too many thing have to do, but i just can't handle them in reality. all assignments need TIME to research aka time to search, read, and process journal. F*** them! not all journals found are suitable and i cant undo the time wasted in reading and processing these useless journals! after finished all the journals, here comes the deadline! no time to write at all! even can rush for the writing part, i'm sure it isn't the best quality. grammar and vocab is my weakness. checking back and refine the work need TIME as well! F***! i got the things in mind but i do not have enough time to structure and present the thoughts. :( i'm too slow perhaps. :(