i think people will never understand others' pain unless they went through before. all those disorders/theories learnt was just nothing. seriously nothing. now i really understand what is STRESS and DEPRESSION, and perhaps PANIC ATTACK too.
i know i'm on STRESS, optimum state. frequently felt hard to breath when doing assignments or even think about it. felt tired easily and do want to move around as well. that's where heading to DEPRESSION. feel sad always. sometimes don't think anything around is interesting or fun to do. i did think of some scary thoughts. well, i just leave it as dark fantasies. i don't think i got the guts to carry out all those evil thoughts. on the other hand, PANIC ATTACK comes in whenever i start thinking the due date of the assignments. the feeling of hard to breath even more intense.
i guess i know why i have these feelings. the core reason is that i put myself into this. congratulation to "procrastination" and "excuses"! both of you have successfully trap me into such situation! yay for you!
i don't think i need any counselling now because in someway i am still positive to my life. what i need now is the speed to complete all assignments asap. argh! two long writing assignments! :( now i'm considering pass up either one late. argh! seriously can't done by this friday! 10000 words, 0 words currently. 2000 words, 0 words currently. plus need extra time read and arrange the writing. oh my. even i don't sleep for these 3 days i'm still would not able to finish. argh! can't breath again! :(
it's too late to apologize girl. :(
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